This post may contain affiliate links.
My son and I went camping recently. Well, we went RV’ing with my parents, which is technically called camping but is … notsomuch. But I digress.
The thing about RV campgrounds is that they have tons of activities, and this weekend’s list included a pie-eating contest. Fun, right? 
Fun to watch, maybe.
For a litany of reasons — he’s a picky eater, he has texture issues, he doesn’t like being in crowds and in the middle of noise, etc — I didn’t ask Daniel if he wanted to do it. I simply announced that we’d go watch.
And then he shocked me.
“I want to do that,” he said.
Summoning my best poker face, I replied with a casual, “Ok, cool.” And found him a seat at one of the picnic tables crowded with kids and surrounded by a mob of adults.
This child has never eaten a cherry pie. And he hates going off script. But there he sat, hands on his lap, face-down in a mini cherry pie, giving it everything he had, eating this new food in a “wrong” way with throngs of people packed in around him.
Daniel made it about halfway through before he couldn’t take another bite and some pudgy kid had licked his own pie plate clean (then asked for seconds) to win the contest. His face broadcast a level of mortification. He wanted away from that pie, away from the table, away from the crowd. I quickly asked if he wanted to head back to the pool and he power-walked ahead of me without saying a word.
You learn early when to talk to your kids about an experience and when to wait it out. My mother and I briefly let Daniel know how proud of him we were and then left him alone to do whatever decompressing he needed to do.
Stretch Yo’ Self
The thing was, Daniel did some massive stretching that day. I tried to explain this to him at bedtime, but when you’re nine, all you know is that this experience was really uncomfortable and you’re never doing it again. I hope that underneath, nestled in his subconscious, an idea took root: he tried something new and he came out the other side just fine.
Now it’s my turn. First, a photo I’ve shared a couple of places:
That’s me under the umbrella. This photo was taken in jest and I titled it “Redhead on the beach” before realizing it provided a great visual for how I’ve approached a lot of stuff in my life.
What you don’t see are the row of beach chairs next to me, their occupants’ faces blissfully turned toward the sun. This has been me: hiding, shrinking, keeping safe in the shade or in the shadows. Sitting so close to rows of beach chairs whose occupants have turned their faces upward and wondering what it feels like to do so and be unafraid of getting burned.
I’ve had a tendency to pull back rather than go for it in various aspects of my life. To play it small. It’s weird, as I’m also a super competitive person. Super competitive with an upper limit problem, apparently.
So here I am, running headlong into a “Stretch Yourself Challenge” for the month of September. This means I’ve got to make myself visible and actually ask people to LOOK AT ME (eek). That’s my stretch and the reason I’m participating. I need to get more comfortable with the spotlight if I want to grow. Tune in later as I do a Facebook Live video series, which was my challenge choice.
A what-the-what challenge?
Kelly McCausey’s Stretch Yourself Challenge is celebrating its 10th Anniversary in 2019. The September Challenge is focused on Content Marketing Activities that stretch you out of your comfort zone and reach more of the people you long to serve.
As I write this, we’re about two and a half days in and I’ve learned so much already. I’ve noticed when I get that pit-of-the-stomach feeling and I pause to ask myself why it’s appearing.
We have two teams in this year’s challenge, and there was an interesting conversation about competition. I was thrilled that we can earn points and win prizes and somewhat surprised to learn that others aren’t too motivated by that. It made me think about my competitive streak and how I’ve used it in the past. How I’ve possibly had more of a win-lose mentality than I realized, with little room for the in-between. And I’m wondering how many times I avoided going for something because I knew I couldn’t “win.”
Here’s the thing: by the end of September, I very well may find myself with a semi-mortified look and pie on my face, ready to power-walk away from the stretching I just did.
But I’m planting seeds in my subconscious. Getting a little more comfortable, step by step. Learning and growing.
If you’ve got a business you’d like to grow, consider joining the Stretch Yourself Challenge. With a little luck, you’ll be on my team! You have 15 challenges to choose from. They include things like creating YouTube channels, writing blog posts (and promoting like crazy), doing Live videos, hosting a virtual summit, hosting a webinar, etc etc. You pick a challenge that stretches you and then go for it.
Come play! The SYC encourages consistency and some good-natured smack talk. Plus did I mention prizes? Deadline’s Friday.
Meanwhile, tell me about some recent stretching you’ve done! What was it and what did you learn?
One of my favorite sayings, that I cannot remember where I saw it first, is that you have to feel uncomfortable a little to grow. This is a great story that you shared that demonstrates this idea very well and clearly. Love it.
Oh man, that’s so true! I’ve felt uncomfortable in varying degrees whenever I’ve grown (sometimes painfully uncomfortable!). Hopefully Daniel can learn at a younger age than I did that this is totally ok. 🙂
I can relate to Daniel – I’ve tried things that left me wondering what the heck I as thinking LOL!
It’s exciting to have you involved in the challenge Karin! Who knows what you’re making possible!!
I’m pumped to be a part of the challenge! And me too … I’ve tried lots of things that left me scratching my head afterward. lol
That’s an AWESOME story, Karin! I’ve already mortified myself in the Stretch Yourself Challenge, and I’ve decided to embrace being mortified as a sign that I’m really stretching. Cheers to the realization that we really WILL come out on the other side just fine!
lol I can relate! I’ve found that if I feel at least somewhat mortified, I’m usually doing something I need to do. But that the feeling also fades. 🙂 Good luck in the challenge!
Excellent and fun to read! That beach umbrella. Hysterical. And so real! Thanks Karin
Thanks, Rosie! The beach struggle is real. 🙂
Love your story and how you allowed it to unfold here, Karin. I’m often the one “under the umbrella” when it comes to connecting with new people.
Thank you, Connie! So interesting you say that, because it doesn’t appear that others think you’re hiding under an umbrella. You’ve got a lot of fans. 🙂
Karin, I was feeling your fear as I read about Daniel and the pie. I have a granddaughter who is what I call, “a picky eater on steroids” and the texture, smell, taste thing is a huge issue, I know, with so many kids–well even with adults, too. I wondered whether my granddaughter will ever get past her fear of the texture issue to ever enjoy a bite of pie. Good for Daniel stretching outside his comfort zone and good for you joining in for the Stretch Yourself Challenge. It’s gonna be a great month! Woot Woot!
Oh, and that would be me under the umbrella hiding out from the sun. My family always makes fun of me but who wants wrinkles and skin cancer?!?
When used properly, umbrellas can be good things! lol Yeah, there was a LOT going on in my brain with that pie-eating contest, but I’m glad I kept my poker face and left him to it. So now it’s a minor event to him, and a huge lesson for me. 🙂
What an awesome and supportive mom you are. Knowing when to let your child stretch, and when to retreat and recharge. Remember to always show yourself that same care. You have NO reason to hide, by the way. We want to see you.
Thank you, Teresa! What an awesome point and a great reminder about showing myself the same self-care. Getting better, but often guilty of failing to do so!
This is probably going to sound creepy but it’s not meant in a creepy sorta way… you do things to me Karin! Seriously, you make me feel all the feels. I’m sitting here typing this comment with tears rolling down my face and I can’t even really pinpoint why other than the way you tell a story just moves me. Well that and that picture of you hiding from the sun (although I never hide from that lol)… that hit me right in the heart because I was like that too for so long of my life, hiding from so many things. Anyway, I don’t even remember what I planned on saying now because the tears side tracked me lol That picture of Daniel eating the pie is great! I love that he just decided he wanted to go for it and give that a try 🙂
Aw man, thank you, Tish! That means a lot, and making people feel the feels (whatever they may be) is always my goal with a story – so it’s nice to know this touched you (in a non-creepy sorta way, of course). Consider it a Mutual Admiration Society. I’m so proud of what you’ve been up to and it’s been inspiring to watch you stretch and shine!
What an awesome story Karin! I think many of us can relate to being the one under the umbrella (hilarious pic by the way LOL) and hiding ourselves from the world. That’s why this challenge is so great – it gives us the push we need to stop playing small and to grow even when it’s uncomfortable. Good luck on the rest of the challenge!
Thank you, Kristin! I’m loving the challenge, what I’m learning, and the people I’m meeting.
I can totally relate to the redhead in the sun. I live at a very high altitude and cannot BE in the sun… still I enjoy it with TONS of sunscreen (I’m safe AND get to enjoy the warmth on my face). Kelly’s challenge is like that for me – a place to get out there and stretch AND be safe because I’m in such a support of group. Nice meeting you Karin – good luck this month!
I love the sunscreen analogy, Meredith! Good luck to you as well. 🙂
Disclaimer: I’m a cryer. I cry over everything. I’m learning that it’s OK, and it doesn’t make me weak. I’m just super empathetic and sensitive to emotions.
Your post has me bawling. Like I had to stop and rub my eyes so I could see to post. I relate to the story about your kid, and I relate to your story of hiding in the shadows.
Shine on sister!
Aw, as long as it’s a good bawling! 🙂 Nope, super empathetic doesn’t make you weak at all … and so glad the stories were relatable to you.
Your stories touched my heart. I can relate to both stories on different levels and I thank you for sharing how we engage and stretch and try new things in life. I’m so happy you’re going to do the FB Live Series. Me, too. Lots of growth ahead for us!
Thanks, Tara! Can’t wait to see how the Live series go for both of us!
Your son took a look very bold step. Just the fact that he was willing to try something NV ew was a major win! And your umbrella analogy… right on point!
I’m still amazed he did that! And the umbrella has been packed away… 🙂
Come out, come out wherever you are! 🙂 by the way, not sure if you are hiding or whether you are playing low key to keep the sun from blushing when you dazzle! Either way you had me at “Pie eating” and what a great Mom you are to Daniel!
Well shoot, now I’M blushing thinking about the sun blushing. lol Love that! Thanks for taking the time to comment. 🙂
Oh, Karin. So much good to devour from your post. So many interesting tidbits to gnaw on longer. Making me think back and wonder if I, too, held back sometimes knowing I couldn’t “win.” You pulled the bandage off that boo-boo. Ouch! But in a good, productive way. Thanks. Meet you in the finishers circle!
Thank you, Kat! That means a lot. (Fellow perfectionists, unite!) Let’s continue ripping off bandages, whaddya say?
Awesome story and the photos just make it sing!
And how interesting that other visitors have been moved to tears, but I smiled and smiled as I read your story. It was inspiring and fun and I want to be as cool as you and your son. Having been (ok maybe still am) a picky eater, I was cheering your son so much! So nonchalant, just ‘hey, let’s try this thing.’ The fearlessness of kids – something all of us business owners could emulate a bit more.
I completely related to being a super competitive person, who still plays it small sometimes. But we’re busting through that limit, aren’t we?! 😀
We are indeed busting through our limits, Jen! The interesting thing about my son is that he’s almost never nonchalant like that about something so new and foreign to him, so it was HUGE for him to do so here! I was completely freaking out inside and should win an acting award for (hopefully) keeping it totally cool on the outside. Glad the story made you smile! It’s been fun seeing you in the group and the mastermind. Good luck!
Well done to Daniel for stretching himself and going over his fears.
I love your picture on the beach! I can relate so much to it!
Thank you for sharing a slice of your life with us.
Thank you, Sabrina! Daniel still thinks the whole event was stupid, lol, but I’m working on subtly planting those seeds about what a big deal it really was. 🙂 (And I see what you did there – “slice” of our life!)
Such a powerful, authentic story, Karin. It’s personal but I can SO relate. That could be me under that beach umbrella. Please tell Daniel he is an inspiration to this mom.
Thank you, Brook! It makes my heart sing to hear that Daniel has inspired someone. And let’s get out from under those umbrellas, eh?!
I love this post so much, Karin! I remember another time when you stretched yourself! When we climbed to the top of the lighthouse! That was an awesome experience to share with you!!
I love the story, kids always surprise us and teach us in expected ways. Thank you for sharing your stretch journey, I look forward to seeing the awesome things you accomplish this month 🙂
Absolutely loved your analogy used in regards to your son’s pie eating challenge to the Stretch Yourself Challenge. Doing things outside of our comfort zone, make us bolder and stronger.
Thanks, Lynn! I don’t think I’ll see him in another pie-eating challenge, but he seems none the worse for wear, so hopefully he’ll tackle something else!
Great story! I liked the way you delivered the message. I think we all have those umbrella moments.
Thanks, Kim! I think I’m gonna steal the term “umbrella moments.” That’s perfect! So long as they’re moments and not where we spend all our time, right? 🙂
Oh boy…you’re poor son! And, poor mom for enduring an unlikely situation that you probably knew would not have a happy ending. Stretching ourselves IS a challenge and sometimes going in head first without thinking about the consequences, can be a better way to get it done.
Congrats on choosing to be more visible! I can relate to fearing the wrath of what other people might think, but you can do it! Toss that umbrella aside (even though you did look cute underneath that big thing) and be seen. You’ll be all the better for having done it. Cheering you on!
Thanks, Julie! I think it was kind of cute photo, too. lol! And Daniel’s fine … I tried not to make a big deal of it at any point, though I WILL be subtly dropping clues about it to try to encourage him to keep on keepin’ on with new things. I guess we all need cheering on!
Great story Karin! I’ve read your post several times now and I love what you said about your son: “…he tried something new and he came out the other side just fine.” As a fellow natural hider, this is something I will remember often – as I’ve written it on a sticky note on my computer! 🙂
Oh how cool is that? And yeah, I think we sometimes tend to forget that, even if it didn’t turn out quite the way we wanted, we survived it all just fine. 🙂 (And probably stronger if we think about it.)
I love your writing and the story about your son. When my daughter was that age she got it in her head that she wanted to take her dog to a dog show. Her nervous, fearful of other dogs, little Sheltie. My daughter proudly walked our Prince around, until he could no longer handle the crowds and promptly peed all over her feet.
LOL!! That’s priceless. Was that the end of Prince’s dog show career? 🙂
Way to go Daniel! What a brave thing to do 🙂
And I could TOTALLY relate to the picture on the beach – as a fellow red-head, I’m the on in long sleeved swim shirt with a towel over my legs!
I love this post and how you plan to stretch – looking forward to crossing the finish line with you -with loads of sun screen on!
Oh yes, towel over the legs – always! Even when it’s 95 out. Here’s to rocking the challenge!